Sins of My Youth
by MadameDegrassi96
Summary: idk if this is even worth posting, but i need opinions, its about Eli being famous, and hes a total Vain boy. but will Clare knock him off that high ass pedastool
1. Chapter 1

_Sins_.**of**_.__my__._**youth**. (CHAPTER 1)

I was sitting in the limo. I love acting, I love how many fans, and I have. I think it's adorable, the little things they do because they can't resist me. Here we go, Toronto.

I walked out of the limo to the sounds of screaming fans, breathing hot breath down each other's backs waiting for me. Little old me.

My name is Elijah Goldsworthy, and I'm a T.V. star. Most people know me for my work as an actor, but some people just look at me and fall in love. Why was I so irresistible? I don't know.

Eli, you cocky bastard.

As I walked into the little store, that they were opening, I glanced around with a smug smile on my face. Of course they loved me, how could they not? I mean I'm pretty perfect, at least as far as perfect can go.

As I walked in, I saw the man who owned the little coffee joint, The Dot is what they called it. Don't ask me why, but they did. There was an older woman standing next to him, probably his wife. Behind them was a bouncy brunette, with a white smile, and brown eyes. Obviously she was a fan. I smirked and shook hands with said man.

"Pleasure to meet you, my name is Randal Edwards, and this is my wife." I smiled and then the little peppy brunette, jumped in front of her mother.

"I'm Darcy, Darcy Edwards."

I kissed her hand, and she giggled. She would.

This shindig, has been going on for about an hour, so I snuck out through the back door, to get some fresh air, as I walked out, someone else was standing there, but I saw her too late, and accidently ran into her.

"Oh my god! Watch where you going," she looked up at me, I expected her to see who I was and then mutter, and blush an apology, but that isn't exactly what I got.

She rolled her eyes.

"Wow, what are you even doing out here? Aren't you supposed to be in there totally rocking the place?" She was VERY sarcastic. I like that. But why didn't she like me?

"What's your problem?" she sighed,

"Honestly, why are you talking to me?"

"Because I want to."

"Well you can't have everything you want, even if you are little Richie Rich."

"Original much?"

"Seriously what do you want?"

"I want to know what your beef is."

"My beef is that you are ruining this place."

"I am the FACE of this place."

"Don't remind me, my parents let my sister decide which celebrity she wanted for the face of said dot. And now were stuck with you." She honestly looked disgusted with me, and it hurt. But yet, I still wanted to talk to her.

"So, wanna ditch this popsicle stand?" she looked wide eyed at me.

"If you're the "face" of my families' restaurant, you better carry your ass in there, and do your job. But I will ditch, just not with you."


	2. Chapter 2

ELI POV

She was rude, and hateful, and mean, and arrogant, and cute, and beautiful, and exciting, and different. She was _something_. Why did he want to be around her so much?

THE NEXT DAY…  
ELI POV

I was in such a good mood to go into a place that I was regretting agreeing to go to, the day before. We we're having a photo shoot, for the "face of the Dot"

"Mr. Goldsworthy, will you please sign these papers, and then go sit back stage for makeup?" I nodded, signed, and went backstage. I hoped to see the blue eyed girl.

"Clare, Pa-LEASE! I mean, its ELIJAH GOLDSWORTHY, we are talking about, don't you want me to be happy? With my future husband?" _she really thinks that?_

"HA! You _really_ think that _he_ will marry _you_? Now I _know_ you're twisted, he's a celebrity; he uses people, to get what he wants. He's not gunna _marry_ you!" she was laughing. I wanted to laugh too, I don't use people, but I _surely_ wasn't marring her sister. Her name is Clare, Clare Edwards. I guess I'll do some digging.

"Clare, why won't you just sign up for the stupid contest? I can do your makeup, okay? Your like super pretty, it'll work, I just _need _to see him again!"

"I'm NOT signing up, to be in a picture, with _him_. That's what anorexic super models, with plastic bodies are for, not girls like me, anyway, I wouldn't be caught dead, with his arms all over me, like in this picture. Why don't you sign up? You could win, you have that fake ass girl glow." I was laughing, I couldn't help it. She made me laugh? No one makes Elijah Goldsworthy laugh, I make them laugh.

"Mr. Goldsworthy, could you please stop moving? I'm trying to do your makeup!" I snorted, but stopped laughing.

TWO HOURS LATER…  
ELI POV*

"This is an outrage! Why does she get a say, in what _I_ have to do? I refuse! I will _not _be in this photo shoot! I have to go, Declan is waiting for me."

"You're going to text Declan, and tell him you can't go out with him tonight because your doing the picture with Elijah Goldsworthy!"

She's doing the picture with me, which means that if I screw up, we will be around each other longer. YES!

"Couldn't get enough of me, eh?" she glared at me. It was cute.

"I am being forced, like some slave, if I ever want to see Declan again, so no. I really hoped to never see you again, but I guess God doesn't listen to my prayers anymore."

"Jeez, tell me how you really feel." We were in this sarcastic banter, for about five minutes, until they made us get ready in makeup. Guess who was there?

"Clare, I knew it would work!"

"Why didn't you just make them make _you _in the picture, seriously? Can you be smarter, it would've gotten you here, withyour _hubby_, and I wouldn't have to be, I could be with Declan."

"I still cannot believe that your dating Declan, I mean I slept with him." I snickered.

"That was your fault, but if you must know, I've never slept with him. I'm not that slutty. I keep my promise to god."

Just as I was about to laugh at her, some rich kid walked behind the set, where only the crew was aloud, I wasn't going to say anything, until I saw Clare's eyes light up.

"Declan!" she _kissed _him. They were making out for a good two minutes, until I cleared my throat.

"Declan, what are you doing here?"

"I have a surprise for when this photo thing is over, so, I decided I would give you a hint." He bent over and whispered in her ear, then pulled out a box from his inner coat pocket, it was the CD case.

"Oh, my god! You didn't?"

"No, you're a great singer, so I thought I'd have it burned for you."

"I thought it was just for fun, I thought that it wasn't recording! Oh my gosh! I love you!"

"Love you too, so after we finish here, we, as in me you and Fiona, are going to see a movie, the new projector _finally _got here, since the old one broke."

"I hate how you buy me expensive things all the time; it makes me feel like a gold digger."

"Well, you pretty much are…" she glared at her sister who said that, I thought it was cute how she hated spending money, but I was getting _sick_ and _jealous _of this guy. Who was he? A damn diplomat?

"Well, I _am_ the son of a diplomat, after all. It's nothing." Son of a… bitch.

We were sitting in the chairs, when all of a sudden, the camera man, came in with an outfit for clare. My eyes bugged out.

"No, NO, I REFUSE to wear that."

This is going to be fun…


	3. Chapter 3

ELI POV

She had on this extremely revealing tank top on, that had rips and tears in it. Under that, was just skin, and a black bra. She has TIGHT short jean shorts on, that hugged her curves, with grey and black 4 inch heals. Her legs were beautiful, and I couldn't stop staring.

She laughed, when she saw what I had to wear. It was some tight skinny jeans, and a black vest, and a black and white long sleeved, striped t, underneath. I had my hair, brushed so my bangs dangled, and emo jewelry on. I thought I looked pretty hot.

We had to shoot in the back of a hearse, it was pretty cliché, you know? The Emo kid, who drives a hearse? It turned on a lot of teenage girls though. We had to look "intimate" I surely didn't mind, but Clare spent hours trying to get out of it. She tried every excuse in the book. It was too r rated for children, I was a total douche, I was a stereotypical asshole, I was a jerk, she was too good for some common whore who gave it up in the back of a hearse, to some emo guy, and finally, WTF does this have to do with DOT burgers?

I laughed at every one of them, she REALLY despised me, yet it made me like her that much more. It was cute how she rolled her eyes at every comment I made, and how she made everything I say sound like I was a senseless asshole. She LOVED to make me look stupid; she loved to make me look fake.

"Okay, Clare lay here, and Elijah, get on top of her, Clare, wrap your legs around his waist, yes like that. Now put your arms around his neck, and Elijah put your head between her head and shoulder, on her neck. Clare, stops looking repulsed, and look dazed, and sexed."

"You act like I'm some ugly troll." I couldn't contain my laughter.

"You're ugly on the inside, where it counts. Now, do you have any ugly trolls, I'd MUCH rather."

"Very funny, but it looks like your stuck with no other than me." She rolled her eyes.

"well than Elijah, it looks like we have to get this done and over with, I don't like being this close to you. It doesn't work for me."

"Do I make you all hot and bothered?"

"HA! Bothered? Yes, Hot? Never. If we're being honest, you make me want to punch you in the face,_ every_ time I see you. Like right now, all I want to do is knock that cocky _ass_ smirk off your face." I laughed again, she was so funny, and yet I had a feeling she was being dead ass.

AFTER TWO HOURS OF PICTURES, AND SCREAMING FANS…

"Declan, are you ready?"

He smiled. "You know it."

We were driving, to pick up Fiona when his phone rang, he asked me to pick t up, thinking it was Fiona, but when I saw the Caller ID, it wasn't Fiona. It was a picture of some blonde girl, I answered it, but before I could say anything a voice answered.

"Hey, Dex, I miss you, are you done with your drag of a girlfriend yet? I mean how fun could a movie be, when you can be here, just like last night, I miss your body."

I couldn't speak, so I hung up the phone,

"Pull the car over." It was barely a whisper, but he heard it.

"Why, what's wrong."

"Pull, the car over, NOW!" I whispered until I said now. I screamed, and he did what I said. I got out and started walking from the way we came.

"Clare, what the hell has gotten into you? Where are you going?"

"Declan, look who called your phone."

His eyes widened, "That's JUST my cousin."

"Really? Because I thought it was illegal, for a _cousin_ to be at his _cousins_ house, after every date with his girlfriend, because his"Cousin" _missed his body!_ What does that sound like, huh? I am so STUPID to think you could do that, I mean you're a player, and I fell for it, even after I KNEW it!"

I started to walk, and he didn't even bother to stop me.

I was walking for what seemed like hours, I didn't know where I was going, or even why I was just wandering, but soon, I found the perfect spot. It was a river, I came here with Darcy when we were little, and when she wasn't obsessed every guy she saw on TV. This is where we came when we found out about dad cheating on mom, but the fixed it.

I sat down on my rock, and let the tears flow in a current of hatred, and misery, why was I so stupid? I KNOW what a player is, I know what cliché every player saying they "Quite the game" and every player was lying, so why did I think this one could different.

I sat and thought about how I always called people out on their mistakes, like Elijah, only he hardly counts, considering he doesn't even care that he uses people to get what he wants. But I thought about like Jenna. Maybe she truly did have feelings for KC, maybe it wasn't just about the game, but KC, he wasn't even being such an ass when he broke up with me, he was at least not going behind my back, but the DAY OF, he got with Jenna. You would think he needed at least a week before almost having sex with her.

I thought about Drew, and Alli.

Cheaters never stop cheating, so I knew it was a bad idea for Alli to forgive Drew, especially as easily as she did. He really didn't prove himself; he just sulked around hoping she would feel sorry enough to take him back, yet again.

Finally I thought about Declan.

He cheated on plenty of girls, like Drew. He liked other girls while he had a girlfriend, and didn't even feel remorse for those who passed, like KC. And he knew that he was using people and didn't care just like Elijah. He enjoyed the chase, just as much as Jenna did. So why didn't I see it? Because I am stupid. I wanted to believe someone as amazing as the Declan I thought I knew existed, but I was sadly mistaken. Guys are all assholes…

_Elijah looked pretty good dressed in black, he actually looked like he had feelings besides ignorance, like he had depth._

Why did I even think about that? What is WRONG with me?


	4. Chapter 4

CLARE POV

After thinking everything through, I still sat there, lying on my rock, wishing that there was some decent person in this world who could take me, and make my life perfect. Not just like a little fling, but I need commitment, real commitment. But real commitment doesn't exist.

ELI POV

Clare was supposed to be here two hours ago, for the second picture, she still isn't here. Her parents have called her cell phone multiple times, and even then she didn't answer. I wonder what the hell is going on.

"I told you she doesn't care about this, you should just let me do the damn picture." I rolled my eyes; of course Darcy would want to.

CLARE POV

I look at my phone and see its 12 pm. Shit, I was late to the photo shoot, but frankly I don't care. I decided to go to my dorm to change.

When I got there, there were screaming girls running up to me, shit.

"Oh my god! How is working with _thee_ Eli Goldsworthy?"

"It's a piece a cake!" I said rolling my eyes.

"Isn't he sooooo amazing?"

"The best," I said sarcastically. They all gave me dirty looks as I went to my room. I changed, and showered, than I finally made my way to the dot.

"Where the _hell_ were you?" I rolled my eyes at Darcy.

"Where ever the hell I wanted to be, I told you I hate the fact that I'm doing this, so if I happen to be late, I really don't care." She huffed.

I walked outside, to see an angry mod, yelling.

"There she is! She hates Eli!" I smiled to myself, rolled my eyes, and walked back inside.

"Here's your next outfit Ms. Edwards."

"Thanks!" I said with faux enthusiasm. After I changed I finally realized what I was wearing.

"What the _hell_ is this? Candy land?" I had on a skin tight pink mini skirt, with a purple and blue halter top, and lollipop designs on the breasts. She had stockings on, and little pink frilly slip-ons.

"_Hell_ no."

Eli was wearing the same thing as yesterday, I finally realized what the picture represented, he was "corrupting my innocence." I laughed out loud.

"Who came up with the idea's for these pictures, I mean lets get real."

ELI POV

I chuckled at Clare's reaction to her outfit, it was funny. Her sister came up with these ideas, so I knew they were stupid.

"Is this the last picture finally?" I shook my head.

"When are you going to leave?" she looked generally pissed, with life as we know it. I couldn't help but notice, that Declan was never around, and she glared at this blonde girl, who worked at the dot, every so often.

"Clare, you stand here, yes, now guys put down the black backdrop." There was a black back drop with Clare standing in front of it, looking ridiculous, yet sexy at the same time. They then put a pink spot light on me, while I stood behind Clare, but far enough so that the pink brought out the black in my clothes.

Clare had on this "ima goody goody, which's life, is SUPER perfect all the time" face, and I had an evil grin spread across my face.

CLARE POV

I kept glaring at Tinsley, having no idea she was working here, but she was the girl Declan was sneaking around with. Once the pictures were done, I went to get a drink, and change clothes, but Tinsley was there, trying her hardest to get Elijah's attention. It sickened me. I pushed passed her to get to the soda machine, but I didn't touch her. I got my soda, and set it down on the table, to fix my hood. Then I felt cold liquid on my legs.

"Oops, didn't mean to spill it, sorry. Here you can clean it up with this." She was handing me my shirt." I was beyond livid.

"You _bitch_." She glared at me. I pulled my fist back, and let it sling forward to punch her.

"That'll teach you, Skank!" she fell on her ass, and glared at me, than jumped up.

"Your just mad, that Declan would rather have me than you!"

"If that was the case, then why wouldn't he break up with me?"

"Because you were just another screw!" I laughed, with fake humor.

"I never slept with Declan, so he must've actually liked me, while you just gave him open access to your vagina!"

"BITCH!"

"SKANK!" I punched her again, this time she got up, looked around, and walked away. I then looked around, realizing that all eyes were on me.

I looked around before running out of the door. I didn't listen to anyone I just ran. Not once did I lose my breath, I, simply ran.

I reached the spot on my rock, and thought about what Tinsley said.

"_Your just mad Declan would rather have me than you."_

"_You were just another screw." _

Jane had a boyfriend, so she would've been a fun game to play, the "catch." I soon realized _Saint_ Clare, was just another catch, another game. To strip me of my innocence, literally.

I was just the chase…

ELI POV

I couldn't believe what I was seeing, Clare totally man handled this girl, Blondey. I was curious as to why they were fighting but soon I caught the gist of it. Declan cheated on Clare. Asshole, I mean why? Clare is perfect! I mean, sure she was a total bitch, and she was mean as hell to me, but that made me like her even more. She was different than all the other girls.

When Clare started running, I planned on catching up but this girl was like a track star, damn! She ran, and ran. I eventually saw her, lying on a rock, deep in thought, and a tear slid down her cheek. It hurt to see her hurt, even though all her intentions are against me.

GOAL: prove to Clare, I'm not who she thinks I am.

"So, Edwards, how comfy is this rock?"

"What the _hell_ do _you_ want?" she rapidly, wiped all traces of tears from her face.

"Calm down, Machismo, I just wanted to see if your okay is all." She smiled lightly, but than pure hatred filled her eyes.

"All of you players and assholes will be the death of me I swear. I'm SO stupid." I smiled.

"I'm _not_ a player, and for the asshole comment, I'll let it slide."

"That's what a player _would_ say. Also that's what an asshole would say too." She smiled at me… WAIT! She _smiled_ at me. Not glared, or spat on, but smiled!

"Is that a smile?" she shook her head, just when I thought, "he might not be _that _big of a douche, you pull this shit."

I think we might get along after all…


	5. Chapter 5

_**Sorry for the long wait guys, I had writers block, type situation, and I didn't want to ruin the story, so with out further a due. The next chapter.**_

ONE WEEK LATER  
CLARE POV

For some reason, Eli didn't seem as bad, now. Don't ask me why, but we always hung out together, and I had to pretend to hate every minute of it.

"Clare, when will you admit you like me? That I am in fact NOT the hugest prick, man whore in the world?" I smiled.

"Maybe your not the biggest man whore, but still a huge prick, sorry." I shrugged, like it wasn't a big deal, just a simple fact.

"How can I prove myself?" he asked with an edge to it.

"Well, you can stop being a prick, simple."

"Well, lets go, we have to do this photo shoot." I sighed.

"How many more do we have left?" I whined.

"Relax Clare this is 3 out of six, and I have been here for a week, we are making good progress, but the other pictures, will take longer, so I have about 2 more weeks until I leave."

I sighed; did he know that I was actually starting to think of him as a normal person?

ELI POV

Clare is being easily brought to the reality that I am not the biggest asshole in the world, as much as she tries not to show it. We have made this friend ship work, and I am starting to think that staying here is what would make me happiest.

"Clare, can we talk?" she nodded.

"Do you still hate me? Like loathe me, like before?" I sounded like a child asking there dad or mom why they hated them, a little naive child.

"I don't hate you, at all really, you're just. You confuse me." I was not the confused one.

"What?"

"One minute you're this amazingly sweet person, then the next you're a total jackass who acts like you're getting a piece of ass, and everyone loves you. That isn't the Eli that I enjoy knowing."

She smiled, a sad smile, and I just nodded.

"I can be the Eli you like, I just need time." I couldn't just up and change my ways, I mean I can be different.

"You don't have to change for me, you're leaving in 10 days." She just got up and left me sitting here, wondering what she wants from her. She won't talk to me when I act like a douche, but she doesn't want me to change?

I will change.

"Clare, wait!" she turned around, and looked at me, I loved looking into her eyes, and they would just go endlessly on like a river, or a stream, that you have been looking into for hours that the longer you look, the more you discover, and that is how I feel around her.

AT THE PHOTO SHOOT  
CLARE POV

This was the worst photo shoot ever. I had to be dressed up, in this black attire, while he was this normal boy.

I had on, this extremely vulgar outfit, one worst than my own nightmares.

I had my hair pin straight, with black washout die in it, with fishnets, and cut up skinny jeans, on tip of the fishnets, that were so tight, threw the cuts my legs, were bulging out. My shirt was no where, I had on a black lace bra, and I had biker gloves on. My make up was all black, with no lip makeup. Why, you are wondering? Because me and Eli, have to kiss in this picture.

I am nervous and afraid, because I have only kissed two boys, and the way that we have to kiss, I have never done so before. Let's hope this goes well.

ELI POV

I was waiting to see what I had to wear, but if I got to see Clare like this, I would wear anything.

The way she looked, was almost evil, and it pissed me off, that people were going to be looking at her in this outfit.

But I was mostly excited. I have to hitch her leg up with my hand, near her knee, on her thigh, and we have to like, make out, her body, pressed, roughly against mine, and-

I had to stop myself from these dirty feelings.

DURING THE PHOTO…  
CLARE POV

As the background, turned really white, Eli hitched my leg up, and tightly squeezed our bodies close together. I gasped at the sudden closeness.

He smirked, and leaned down to kiss me…

I lost it.

I felt surges run through my body and my heart started hurting, it was at such a high pang, my lungs filled with non existent air, and my body forced itself onto Eli, even more so, my mouth quivered at his touch, and his breath pushed itself down my throat, and I ached so good.

I felt his arms tighten around my waste and my leg. I was pulling him closer with my leg, and running my hand threw his hair, as my other hand, was holding onto his arm for support, I could tell he was getting into it too, because we were pulled so tight together, that I could feel little Eli poking me, and it sent another pang through my body, and it hurts so good! I couldn't feel my heart beat anymore, it was so fast, and he involuntarily thrust his hips forward earning a moan, from my mouth, that I hoped no one heard, and I pushed my hips and thrusted against him. He took his hands, and lifted me up, so both my legs were around his hips, and we continued to thrust so little that no one could tell what we were doing.

"Guys, that was great, Clare you are an amazing character, considering how much you despise Mr. Goldsworthy, I am glad to see you can get into the act." I pulled away,

Why would I do that? Why would I get so into that kiss? I pulled away from his grasp quite roughly, and practically ran to change clothes, why would I do that? I kept asking my self over and over again. It killed me that I liked it so much, and he's, he is just… UGH!

He is just Eli Goldsworthy. I need to remind myself that, but every time he gets close to me, and we talk I feel like we're connecting. But why do I feel that way?

ELI POV

Here I am, waiting for Clare. What just happened? We were like, all over each other, in the most sexually way, and I could tell she was into it, so why did she just run off like that?

I turned around to be face to face with these two girls, who I didn't know, but one did look familiar.

"So, you like _Clare,_ as in _Edwards_?" I was slightly confused.

"Where did you here this from?"

"Well you were just making out with her, practically dry humping each other." I had to deny it, because Clare would never forgive me for telling them this.

"No, it was just for the photo shoot. We're barely friends." This was sort of true.

CLARE POV

"No, it was just for the photo shoot. We're barely friends." Right, I forgot, he's Elijah Goldsworthy.

_**Okay guys, if you realize, she called him Elijah for the first time since there alleged "friend ship" so now, she sees him like the famous guy she is, will he fix it? **_


	6. Chapter 6

CLARE POV

I went somewhere I knew no one would find me, not the rock, but somewhere else. I went to my dorm. I feel like such a stranger to this place, like I don't even live here anymore. I lie in my bed, thinking of why I ever thought Eli had changed, He was still stuck up, and he was still a jerk. He was still the least modest person she knew, he still had an annoying attitude, and he still had the same smile that drove me mad. He still laughed at how the girls fawned over him.

I couldn't put together, why on earth she was even sort of friends with him. Her phone rang, and she subconsciously answered it.

"Clare, where are you?" she rolled her eyes remembering that she had a photo shoot to finish.

"Real sick, sudden vomiting, got to go, bye." She hung up on Darcy who was stupid enough to believe her.

She ignored her phone when it rang again, and again, and even again. But then it was enough, and she needed to answer it. She looked at the caller ID to see it was Eli. she simply answered it.

"Hey, Edwards, sorry to break it to you, but your M.I.A. where are you?" he wasn't aware that I was done with him and his acting.

"Elijah stop acting like your sarcasm can get you anywhere. Stupid teenage minds make up your career, and you need to realize that normal people don't fall for your insensitive jerk ulterior motives. Leave me alone, I am sick; go tell Darcy to be my fill in."

"Clare, why are you being such a jerk?" I was about to feel bad, when I remembered were just co workers, I shouldn't feel bad.

"Because, we're barely friends, that's no reason to be nice to someone. Now I have to go, leave me alone Mr. Goldsworthy. Have a nice rest of Toronto, and get home safely." And with that I hung up.

I wanted to cry. I had absolutely thee worst taste in guys. They all ended up wanting to screw me over in the end. I'm always being stupid, and now I am done with them all.

I took out a pair of my scissors to my long hair. One lock for KC, and another for Jenna, one lock for Declan, and one for Eli. One lock for Tinsley, and one for Darcy. One lock for my parents and one lock for Ralphy, our old dog. One lock for Stevie, my first crush, and finally one lock for me.

I looked at my newly short up do, and kind of liked it. I looked at my hair on the floor, scattered to the nearest way across the whole floor. I took the vacuum and cleaned up the mess. I decided to go to sleep, after my long day. I need to make a change, and the hair, was only the first. I will start taking control of my life, and it will start small, and grow to the extremes. I cannot keep living my life the way I am, because obviously, it isn't working.

THE NEXT DAY  
CLARES POV

I woke up, and the memories from last night, have not eased from my mind. I did however; forget that my hair was really short. I took my brush through it, and noticed how much easier it is to manage, all short like this.

I walked to my closet, and pulled out a pair of sweat pants. Not really caring what I looked like. I also pulled out a t shirt and a pair of flip flops.

I walked out of my dorm, sunglasses on, keys in hand, and got to my car. I got in and started driving to Degrassi Community school where this all started.

I pulled up, and sat in the parking lot. This brought back so many memories and stories, and what not, and I couldn't help but cry.

_Spinner and Darcy dating didn't end well. Darcy was posting half naked photos on the internet, while Spinner was trying to stay all pure for her. Darce you messed up their. _

_Peter and Darcy were the ones to blame, and then Adams the internet stalker. I remember it too vividly. _

_I thought never would I become Degrassi's drama. How wrong was I? Very. _

_I remember my first day, and I thought that the uniform would push people away for me, so I didn't get caught up in the drama._

_What they don't tell you is that, the Drama of Degrassi sucks you in like a black hole, and once you get a little taste of it, you get the whole buffet. My first step on Degrassi soil, and I saw KC Guthrie. E.i. the biggest mistake of my life, he smiled and handed me my books that he made me drop. Darcy was saying how I could get him easily if I dressed normal, what she didn't know was that I didn't want to get him, but I did. It was way too complicated. He liked me for my flaws, and I accepted his. I thought that the arrogance of Degrassi was behind us, and that we could be happy, but that was before Jenna Middleton came to Degrassi, its like the gods realized that Degrassi had happy students, so they needed to rain on my parade. _

_I thought she was so nice, and welcoming. But in reality, she was a Vixen who wanted my boyfriend, just because I had him. Lucky her, she got him. She got every ounce of him, and they broke my heart for the first time. _

_I never thought I'd get over it, until Declan Coyne started going to Degrassi. I thought he could never like me. He was a player, and I would never go for a player anyway. I was with a cheater, and I DID NOT need a player for a boyfriend. Then Declan was single for the longest time. I started talking to him, because he looked like he needed a friend. At least, that's what I kept telling myself._

I have the worst history with guys, its ridiculous. 


	7. Chapter 7

As I sit here thinking of what the hell was wrong with Clare, I over heard a conversation between the two blonde girls.

"I know can you believe she actually fell for it?" the one the Clare punched was talking about some girl.

"I know, first KC broke her heart, than Declan, and now we have her believing Elijah doesn't care either, it's a win, win really, I mean what he even sees in her? Well it doesn't matter because now she's convinced." I was in total shock. They had to be talking about Clare right? I mean but why? Why would they want to hurt her like that?

"I know, and do you honestly think that I wanted anything to do with KC until I found out who his girlfriend was? I mean look at her! What does she have that I don't? So then I got KC from her, now I have a big something she doesn't, I have his baby."

I was shocked yet again. These girls made it their mission to hurt Clare! I was so angry that I wanted to hit them, but of course you cannot hit girls! I just walked away, and into my dressing room. I was in here so long, that I didn't hear the sound of the door open, and everyone whispering, until it was so crazy out there that I had to go look.

And trust me, what I saw, was not what I had ever thought I'd see, in my day.

CLARE POV

I walked into my closet in the back, from my high school rebellion days. I pulled out a black sequence tank top that had slits in it. I also pulled out these really tight black skinny jeans, and some Stilettos. My stilettos were also black, but they were leather too.

I pulled out all my clothes, and left my newly adapted hair down, and free. I put on a Pea coat over top of my tank top. It was a dark brown one that I got for Christmas and you know it was nice, because I got it from the one and only Fiona Coyne.

I put my clothes on and with my make up done a little differently. I had on black eyeliner, but a very little amount around my eyes and grey eye shadow, with a little brown. I put on a pink lip gloss, and then I was finished.

I ran my fingers through my hair, and walked out of my dorm, and into the hallways. I could feel eyes burning into my back, and I didn't even care. I walked proudly out of here and into my car. I gripped my steering wheel, and rode over to the apartment complexes. I needed this newly found confidence, if I was going to tell everyone how I felt. I walked up to it, and looked over the list. I pressed the button that said GUTHRIE.

It buzzed a few times, and I opened the door. I walked up the stairs in a huffy, bouncy way, trying to keep my confidence from dying down to quickly.

I knocked on the door, and a startled KC answered the door.

"I have to tell you something." He nodded, yet was still weary. He opened the door wider, and I walked in. we went over to the couch, and sat down.

"KC, I feel like we ended roughly. I mean I don't want you back, no that is most definitely, NOT what I am doing here, but I need to get everything off my chest. Okay?"

He nodded.

"SO, when I met you I was so shocked that a person like you would ever like a person like me. I didn't think of the chance that someone better,"

"Clare, Jenna isn't better than you; I just didn't feel the same way before."

"KC, let me talk, I was going to say someone better for you than me. I mean we were always so different, and then we stopped hanging out with the same people.

I just feel like maybe things weren't supposed to work out. Believe it or not, I was so hurt all the same. I mean Jenna Middleton stole my first boyfriend ever. I don't want your pity, but I just need to tell you these feelings. I need to get everything off my chest.

I was hurt that you could move on in as little as a few hours, to Jenna, like you were just waiting until I was out of the way, and didn't need to get over me because you all ready were before we broke up, and it feel good."

"I just didn't have feelings for you any more." I nodded, knowing it was true, and before he said anything I walked out, because it still hurt, but not nearly as much, and I needed to get the job done before this sudden confidence boost ran away.

I was on my way to see Jenna Middleton…


	8. Chapter 8

I walked into the Dot quickly slamming the door on my way. I ignored every look and focused my attention on Jenna.

"Jenna, we need to talk. Now." She looked at Tinsley who was sitting next to her, and started laughing. I sighed, and walked over by her.

"We need to talk, we can do this so that I tell you what I have to say in private, or I can publically embarrass you. Your choice, either way I'm going to say it." She stopped laughing looked around, and sighed, she stood up and I led her to my car.

"Um, I am not getting in there. Who knows what you'd do." I just looked at her, with a look that said I wasn't joking and she hopped into the passenger side.

We were driving when I pulled over at the park.

"Jenna why do you do the shit that you do? I honestly want to know." She looked startled by my outburst.

"Well, I just do. Its none of your business."

"So you enjoy making people feel like shit? Is that what it is? Because I can totally see where you're coming from. A Making person pissed off enough to hit you is just the highlight of my life."

"That's not it at all, I just. I like people looking up to me." I couldn't contain the laughter I felt coming on.

"No one smart enough to be worthy looks up to you trust me. Tinsley? You think she is worthy? Or even Darcy? They are just stupid people. I would think you would want someone who cares about you as a person not someone who is scared to defy you."

"You were my friend." I once again laughed.

"No, I was friends with the girl you pretended to be. That is totally different. Trust me. The Jenna I was friends with was a talented musician, nice girl who was a good friend. That Jenna is not you what so ever."

She looked appalled.

"Do you really think people are afraid of you? People want to be like you?"

"They do." This girl continued to make me laugh.

"YES Jenna! YES! Only EVERYONE wants to be a teenage mother with a boyfriend who really doesn't care much for the child. Everyone wants to be a failed singer, because she was too much of a bitch to be nice to anyone worthy of her kindness. EVERYONE wants to be the girl everyone else talks about behind their back about how slutty they are to take someone else's boyfriend with sex. That is SO Lovely." With that being said, I drove back to the dot and pulled over to let her out. I walked into the dot with her and looked once at Tinsley.

"And for you. You are such a fucking slut that it makes me laugh." Everyone "OHHHHHHHed" and I just rolled my eyes and started to walk away but Jenna stopped me.

"Hey Clare!"

"What?"

"I'm sorry." She said looking down. I looked at her once more before exiting out of the Dot. I didn't know what to do so I just sat in my car and waited for the decision to come to me. Right when I was about to pull off my passenger door opened and Elijah got in the car.

"What do you want?"

"Just drive." I looked at him like he was crazy.

"I will not! Get out of my car." He looked at me again.

"Let's just go to your dorm so we can talk." As much as I wanted to say to him to leave now, I also wanted to hear what he had to say.

We finally arrived at my dorm and I led him up to my room ignoring the whispers and the elongated crowd of people wanting to talk to him we raced upstairs.

"What do you want to talk about?" I barely got the words out before his lips attacked mine. I pulled away immediately.

"You cannot just do that to me!" he looked down, and then tried to kiss me again, this time I let him but only for a second.

"STOP! WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO TO ME HUH?"

He finally gives in and stops.

"Well Clare what do you want me to do? You tell me you like me, and then you say you don't, you tell me you don't like part of me, but you tell me you don't want me to change who I am? What do you want! I am trying here!" I looked at him and shook my head.

"You just don't get it."

"WHAT DON'T I GET? PLEASE ENLIGHTEN ME!" I was losing my cool and I jumped up and started talking with my hands as well.

"I DON'T LIKE THE ARROGENT JERK THAT YOU ARE TO EVERYONE ELSE! I DON'T LIKE HOW YOU ACT LIKE NOTHING PHASES YOU! OKAY? I LOATHE THE WAY YOU COCKY ATTITUDE AFFECTS YOU SO GREATLY! BUT I LOVE THE WAY YOU ACT LIKE YOU GIVE A SHIT! I DON'T WANT YOU TO CHANGE BECAUSE I WANT YOU TO! I WANT YOU TO CHANGE FOR YOURSELF! I KNOW BETTER THAN ANYONE THAT PRETENDING TO BE SOMEONE YOUR NOT ONLY WORKS FOR SO LONG! SO DON'T DO THAT!" I looked at him after getting some of my thoughts out. He didn't say anything so I started back up.

"I really didn't like you at first. Not even the slightest. But then you got to me. I really, really did like you. I thought you were different. I thought you cared, but then you disappoint me just like everyone else. I don't like two faced people and that's exactly what you are. A two faced person. Someone who doesn't know what they want, even if someone is right there for the taking."

I looked at him with desperation in my eyes hoping he finally got it.

"I'd do anything for you. Anything. So when I told you I'd change for you, I meant it for me too because you are everything to me even though I really wish you weren't."

"That makes me feel SO much better."

"That's not what I mean! I mean I wish you didn't have your grip around my finger like you do. I wish that I wouldn't do anything at all for you, but I know I would. Anything."

He looked at me, and I knew how serious he was. In that instant I knew just what I wanted. I wanted him.

I kissed him with all my might. All of the emotion I was feeling good and bad, all the desperation and tension all of it was put into this heart stopping eye popping kiss.

I felt his arms all over me and the kiss get even deeper. I pulled out of the kiss as soon as I realized what was happening.

"I need you to leave."

"What?"

"you need to leave."

"why? What? I am so confused!"

"Just, just please leave. I am so over whelmed."

"really? Really?" he got up and left, I lay here. So confused.

What did he just admit to?

What did he just commit to?

What did I just commit to?


End file.
